Every time I see a post titled, “Top 10 Things That Need to Stay in 2023,” it’s full of obvious lay ups. If you walked into the mall or a flee market and polled the shoppers, they’d say something like “panda dunks,” or “distressed clothes.” Too easy. I’m better than that, because those things are so broad that leaving them behind doesn’t make any sense. Oh, you wanna leave black and white shoes behind? You wanna leave behind ripped jeans? Moronic.
Here is a list of 10 things that need to stay in 2023. If you own any of this, throw it out. It’s done. It’s over. Move on.
Carhartt Double Knees
I have sold so many pairs of Carhartt Double Knees in my career that this feels wrong, but it has gotten to the point where kids are treating these pairs of sweaty carpenter pants like a piece of archival designer. It’s not that serious, and stop telling me that the distressing “adds character,” or “tells a story,” because it doesn’t. The only story it tells is one of a 20-year-old boy who paid $90 for a pair of pants that belonged to retired plumber in 2015.
Beanies with No Fold
Every amateur clothing brand’s second item they produce. I’m talking about the Y2K graphic beanies. I might be especially opposed to these, because they're not accessible for big headed folks (which I am). They’re so played out and like I said, every start up brand has one. Why? Because they're dirt cheap to produce, and super accessable. Once you see it all over Temu, then you should know that it’s over.
Birkenstock Clogs
Oh my god and don't even try telling me you just wear them because they're comfortable, because unless you put a decade in those things, they're not. I've seen people walk campus in a foot of snow with Birkenstock Bostons on. Don’t get me wrong, I love Birkenstocks and they are comfortable, but I’m talking about the Arizona's. The Bostons are so played out and every person who has them is the most pretentious trust fund kid ever. Wanna see how they look on foot? Go to any flee market or Goodwill Bins, it’s practically their uniform.
Opium Core
Playboi Carti single handedly tricked kids into spending egregious amounts of money on basic black clothing. Since the birth of this style, everyone who has adopted this style swears they have the most unique gifted taste, but only wear Rick Owens. And I dont even hate Rick Owen’s, he’s an extremely talented conceptual artist. It’s not just about the clothes, but the fandom around it as well. Opium soldiers are just retired Vlone Thugs.
Moncler Jackets
I’m keeping this point short because if you have a problem with this one, chances are you’re a menace, and on your way to rob me. The shiny Moncler’s, garbage, trash, ugly as hell. You bought it two years ago, but can’t bring yourself to get rid of it because you paid $2k for it and resell is worse than a used Chevy.
Hats with Silly Attachments
Do you know how dumb this looks? You, a grown legal adult, walking around with a fitted hat with wings or bunny ears on it. The definition of trying too hard.
NY/LA Hats
There was a point where everyone thought they were so creative for putting multiple MLB logos on a hat. Even worse, the ones where they use the NY or LA as part of a word. PgLang did it with the Dodgers hats, and everyone pulled out the anagram machine to make one for their brand. Mega played out, yet I see a new one every day. Blame Nick Holdiay.
Sp5der
One of the most annoying brands ever. The first time I noticed someone wearing Sp5der was in a Foundations of Management class. We were going around saying what we did for a living, and this kid in a full Sp5der sweat suit said he trades crypto. I should also add that he never spoke in class. If you wear Sp5der, you’re unemployed, and probably a criminal too.
Hellstar
It was hard deciding if Hellstar or Sp5der is worse, but I settled, and you’ll read why. I am fully aware that the creatives behind Hellstar are young ambitious guys, printed in the USA, and the designs are well executed. That said, it is so basic and overpriced. It's as if someone went into Pacsun’s sketchbook and picked a bunch of drawings. It’s clearly inspired by vintage band tees, and even more inspired by Travis Scott merch tees. The artistic value is there, but the inspiration is way too obvious. You remember that one artist that got super rich for perfectly mimicking Picasso’s style and creating “new” Picasso paintings. That’s Hellstar, and Stanley Mouse is Picasso.
Sweatsuits/ Nike Tech
Last and surely least, 2023’s worst fashion trend. The flooding of 2-piece sweatsuits by every single amateur brand. It’s always very minimal effort, made overseas, horrible quality, and people wear it around casually. It seems like this year people came to the conclusion that a 2-piece matching sweatsuit is an acceptable public outfit. It’s atrocious. It’s boring. The worst part is dudes step out in it with a pair of Jordan 1’s thinking they're fashion icons. This goes heavily for Nike tech as well. Nothing worse than some dude that reeks of reggie wearing a cooked Nike Tech suit. Thanks Drake, you could’ve kept that in the UK.
That’s the list. Thank you if you got this far; it means the world when people read these posts and give feedback. It seriously means a lot, it’s like writing a 5-page essay, for no grade, purpose, or feedback. This list is obviously lighthearted. I just like to have fun, express myself, and let everyone know what’s on my mind. Check out the items I have posted on the site, new things constantly going up. New Instagram post every weekday. I’m really about this life.
Questions, comments? Shoot a DM on Instagram at “Y2KSELLER” or send an email at support@y2kseller.com.
12.21.2023
